I asked him nicely to stop doing something and he played the innocent one…
Hey. This is my first ever blog post and it’s starting off on a bad note. I’m sorry but I wanted to create this blog so that I can express my feelings and talk about things from my point of view without anyone else interrupting me like what happens when you speak to people it’s normally one sentence and then the next person speaks but on here, I can say what I want, how I want and when I want. My name is Cameron Laing and this is the story of my life…
So this story starts at the start of Secondary School (Year 7) when everyone was new to the school. My natural face is quite lonely even though I’m not thinking anything. So a guy came up to me, let’s call him Nick. So Nick always kept on hanging around near me and that was the start of our friendship. He was a really good friend, making me happy, introducing me to other friends but, there was a flaw. He always called me names and made fun of me. Now all my life I have been bullied but in Year 7 was when it really hit me. I got bullied for being fat, being ugly, having spots, acting gay. It didn’t normally affect me but on some days – you know how teenagers are – it affects me more. So I went about for two more years never being fully happy with myself and being reminded of it.
Nick away used to bully me, and yes it is bullying. Bullying means unwanted behavior which makes people feel unworthy. The behavior is unwanted and repeated or capable of being repeated. In short, something is considered bullying when it makes you feel bad (physically or mentally) and is repeated. Some stuff that he had done were:
- Called me names like fob, fat, ugly.
- Made fun of my hair style
- Made fun of my big boobs
- Annoyed me for making fun of people even though they were my friends
- Hitting me when I got annoying
He honestly made me feel really bad but all I did was laugh at it and look like I didn’t care. He didn’t do it to get a reaction out of me, he did it because I was an easy target and I was always around him. Let me just say that he also calls others names but normally behind their backs or said that it was a joke afterward. So every day I would come into school not wanting to participate in lessons because of the way I felt. I had no self-confidence. During classes, I didn’t want to read during class reading, didn’t even put up my hand in classes. Now that I am no longer friends with him, I am a bit better but still feel really bad. I think that I have got more self-confidence because I want him to be jealous sort of. I’m not sure how to explain it but yeah!
The week that everything happened was a bad week for me. Nothing had happened to me to make me feel the way I did, I just felt really anti-social and really unhappy. Since I felt like that, I didn’t really talk much. That day, Nick went up to where I was sitting – during break time – and said hello to everyone else around me, but not me! Then in Art class, he told me something and I said “okay”, he just started mocking me and repeating what I said over and over again. Also, in that class, Nick told me that his birthday was in 13 days and my and the person sitting opposite me thought he said that it was on the 13th. I said something about that and he called me a fob (Immigrant) and also called the person opposite me it as well. Then I went about my day with everything playing on my mind. I then got home and started to clean my room. I was downstairs making a smoothie and then a new snapchat update came out (the one where you can have group stories). So I updated the app and added all my acting group people into it.
I invited Nick to the club around one year ago – It wasn’t really inviting, my other friend started going and we started talking about it at school and Nick must have got jealous because he kept on saying that he wanted to join. I was trying to be as least helpful as I could because I didn’t want him to come, but he did and he stayed… – When adding everyone I tried to add Nick but it wouldn’t let me, it said “Nick has not added you as a friend yet” (and we had streaks so I knew that he had done it that day). I was getting a bit stressed thinking about it, so I texted him.
I asked him “Why are you annoyed at me?”. He replied with “I am?” (Playing dumb because he doesn’t like people having a go at him”). I told him about the snapchat, the saying hi thing during break time and about the thing in art class all at once. He then said, “It’s because we don’t talk much”. Really! So you don’t say hi to me because we don’t talk much. You make fun of me because we don’t talk much. You call me names because we don’t talk much. You removed me as a friend from snapchat because we don’t talk much. Honestly, that right there pissed me off.
After he said that I went on snapchat and looked at everyone’s stories and there I saw Nicks story. I explained about the trying to add him to the group story and he said: “Okay, but that’s on the interweb I’m confused about art” so I told him about him mocking me after saying okay. He then replied “I seriously can’t remember that, but I do that a lot I’m annoying” Yeah you are. (Still playing dumb). I told him about the fob – name calling – and then I was feeling really stressed out about it. So, just to end it and make him apologize I said “Well I’m sorry for not talking too much. I’ve just been having mood swings and not feeling myself”. Here is one chance where he could have said sorry but no… “Okay well, I didn’t know having opinions and finding someone annoying to be a crime!” Really Nick. Still trying to act like the innocent one. Calling someone a name is not an opinion. Okay, you find me annoying sometimes, I accept that. I find you annoying all the time (no offense), always talking about sharks, chick nuggets, making fun of Jews, making fun of me, saying weird things. Yeah, I might be annoying but you don’t need to hit me, you don’t need to tell me to shut up. Say it more nicely.
And then Nick said: “One time I happen to find someone annoying or something it feels like a bloody crime” One time?!?!! You find me annoying every day, that day was the day I took action. I then gave him another chance to say sorry by saying something along the lines of “Well please don’t say it because it has hurt my feelings. So please don’t call me any more names.” Did he apologize? Nope. “It was one time! Fob is such a stupid word though”. By this time I was crying my eyes out because he just wouldn’t say sorry even though I made it very obvious that I was upset and hurt by it. Then I made the big decision, I didn’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t apologize for knowingly hurting my feelings. I wrote: “It doesn’t matter how many times. You said it and it has hurt my feelings and if you are not going to apologize for what you have done then I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” Yet again, another chance for him to say sorry.
He then ended the friendship by saying “I’m sorry, are we in primary school, fob basically means silly” No it doesn’t “and that is such a childish word, if you want to be childish I don’t want to be your friend. And sorry but I don’t deal with reception stuff”
So that’s how it ended and we haven’t spoken since. I saw him at school and he kept on getting people to come up to me and call me a fob. He also – around me – purposely called people around me a fob and then saying “Oh no, I’m sorry for swearing” or “I want to kill myself now”. I was just ignoring it for the rest of the week going home crying and not wanting to do anything. I am now on holiday and have moved on. I’m not going to wait for an apology that I probably won’t get and I’m not gonna let him destroy me. I now every day look at inspirational quotes and think about them. My two favorite are:
“I don’t care if you are straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual. If you treat me nice, I will treat you nice.” and “Be someone who makes others feel like somebody”
“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”